i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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