I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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