finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I believe in your delicious
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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