My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
