remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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