Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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