We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
