last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
