Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I have post one night stand depression
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