Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize