Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
