Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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