I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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