U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
