I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
