Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize