We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
