I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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