after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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