Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
