my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize