butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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