idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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