then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
