The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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