Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
