Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
