LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
