Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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