i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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