the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
