Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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