You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
