idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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