I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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