READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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