How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
