I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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