My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
