Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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