I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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