seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize