am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Houston, we have a blender
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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