I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
