They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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