Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
