Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
