I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize