so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
