How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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