you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
