Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
