just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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