i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
