Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
