OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize