i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize