Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
