P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
