Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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