Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
