Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
