i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
