Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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