I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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