oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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